This summer Liam and I will have a little bit of freedom that we have not yet experienced together.  We are using it to have some adventures and I couldn’t be more excited about it.

While it is not yet summer, we decided to get started a little bit early to enjoy a weekend with Aunt Kat and Baby Elliott.  It was our first road trip, just the two of us, and we had a smashing time.

We enjoyed a rainy afternoon at a place called Goats on the Roof. I am sure you can guess the main attraction.  Liam had a lot of fun sending food up to the goats in various contraptions, panning for gems, and busting open geodes. Elliott seemed to enjoy watching it all; it will not be long before they are getting in to trouble together!

We spent the rest of the weekend just hanging out, enjoying baby antics and pinterest recipes. It was such a nice hiatus from all the craziness going on in our lives right now and a wonderful way to prepare for this next week… which is quite literally going to go down in history as the week most full of change for the Haddock family.

We ended the visit on the singing note of fresh, local and oh-so-juicy strawberries… which the chicklets looked adorable munching on together. Liam has promptly devoured the remaining strawberries we brought home…but we are still enjoying fresh jam and apple blueberry bread bought at the market as well. Yums.

The next couple weeks of our lives are going to be basically insane. After that, Liam and I will be spending the summer adventuring. I have so many plans and this was a wonderful way to start. Thanks again for sharing your beautiful home with us, Aunt Kat and Baby Elliott.

So.. exactly what are a little boy and his mama to do after a very long day at work; a day full of meltdowns and fighting and more tantrums than one cares to recall? How do they salvage the evening when they are feeling just a wee bit grumpy and overwhelmed? What could ever cheer them up at a time like this?

 

Well…….duh.

“I-want-a-latte-I-want-a-latte-I-want-a-latte!” Liam chanted the whole way to the ‘bucks, much to the amusement of fellow bus patrons. 

“Is he saying… he wants… a latte.. as in… a latte?”


Yup. Works like a charm.




Oh. But it is actually a kid’s hot chocolate for any concerned citizens out there. Have you met my child? I am not even remotely interested in introducing him to espresso. You must be freaking kidding me.

Not so long ago, a really good article about motherhood was making the rounds on various social networking sites. If you are a mom or know a mom, you probably read it or heard about it or vaguely discussed the sentiment of it as my husband and I did. It is called, “Don’t Carpe Diem”  and it has something like 83 pages of comments on it. Most of these comments are along the lines of, “thank you so much for writing this- this is exactly how I feel!” or “OMFG you read my mind,” or the more sophisticated, “I appreciate this article greatly; you are an inspiration! Happy writing!” (I did not actually read the 83 pages of comments so if I accidentally quoted anyone, I apologize. It was entirely unintentional.) Point being:  people relate to this article. A lot of people relate to it. It is pretty powerful.

It was interesting because when I read it I thought to myself, “Do people really do this? Do strangers really assault you with warnings to never take your eyeballs off your children’s faces because you are going to blink and they are going to be buying condoms and shaving?” I seriously did not think it had ever happened to me.  I thought maybe I give off a really unfriendly vibe or something because I have never been approached by that little old lady in the supermarket. Except perhaps to tell me that my kid is adorable. That happens All. The. Time.

That afternoon… or maybe the next afternoon…or sometime very soon after reading the article, I took Liam to the coffee shop down the street from our apartment.  As I was paying and L was screeching for his muffin, a man knelt down and spoke to him for a few minutes before looking up at me and saying, “I know you will probably hear this a million times, but I just have to say it: cherish this time. It goes by so fast. My daughters are 9 and 11… and I have no idea how they got there.”

After that, it sort of felt like every one on the planet had read this internet article, felt personally attacked by the message and decided to fight back because all of the sudden people were telling me to enjoy my kid pretty much everywhere we went.

At some point, it sort of dawned on me that people had probably been saying this to me all along, I just didn’t notice it. It was white noise that I had tuned out until someone brought it to my attention. I do not believe that I had tuned it out because I found it irrelevant or anything.  Just the opposite, in fact.

I think I am a little strange maybe (yes, Daddy.. I know you knew this all along).  If life had a check list then seizing the moment, enjoying my kid, and being aware that it goes by too quickly would already be checked off. With a big fat X to mark the spot.  I can’t help it. I think I am wired to be aware of the passage of time. I cannot remember a point in my life when I did not urge myself constantly to savor good moments, hoard memories, and be present. I am, at the ripe old age of 25, already that little old lady in the supermarket with her hand over her heart  so when I run into someone who pats my child’s head, tells me he is precious and urges me to pay attention, I only see a kindred spirit.  I can honestly promise that I am- that I will.

You know, to tell you the truth, I think it is probably more isolating as a parent to admit that you find parenthood sort of easy and wonderful all the time than to confess to the struggles you have. I know that sounds crazy… but I think it is true.

I mean, you see women discussing the struggles of motherhood all the time. On the playground, in toddler gymnastics class, on the internet- everywhere! Women write books about it and sell millions of copies because mothers relate to those feelings. But if I were to join that mommy playground conversation by talking about how being a mother does not feel like work at all to me, I would probably earn a few dirty looks. If I were to go on and on about how I slipped into motherhood like a fish to water,  how I enjoy almost every minute of it and how I do not have very many struggles at all, certainly none with guilt or inadequacy or inferiority because I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am a very good mother… I would probably make some people feel attacked. I might hurt feelings and I most definitely would not make any friends.

In spite of this, it is true. I do not find motherhood particularly challenging. I do not feel like I am climbing a mountain. I have my moments, just like everyone else, but they are rare and usually catch me off guard.

Every once in a while Liam and I will have a really hard day. There will be tantrums and accidents and I will feel exhausted and overwhelmed. I will grit my teeth a lot. At the end of it, I will look back on the day and wonder what we accomplished and how it is possible that we accomplished so little when I feel like I was put through the ringer and hung out to dry. But those days are so ridiculously rare.

Mostly, I spend a lot of time watching my son and pretty much being amazed by him.  I laugh at him a lot and with him even more. We have a ton of fun. There is literally nothing about taking care of my child that feels like work. He is awesome and I really like hanging out with him all day.  And I do not have a lot to worry about because I am not a worrier. I very rarely wonder if I am screwing my kid up. Mostly because I know that I probably am a little bit… but chances are he will turn out alright anyway.

I know that I only have one very small boy. I have not yet experienced juggling several of my own children at once and all of the new and interesting challenges that come along with that. But I have cared for many various combinations of children at different times and stages throughout my childcare career. I have never found it particularly challenging. I am fairly confident that I will continue to enjoy motherhood regardless of the number of children we add to our brood. I really think it will just add to the fun.

That might sound prideful but, to tell you the truth, I do not have very many natural talents. I am not a singer or a musician. I cannot act or draw or fix things. My culinary abilities are quite limited and I am not technologically inclined. I am also blessed with two-left feet and the coordination of a newborn giraffe. And I am very much aware of my short-comings and faults.

There are only a few things that I know I am good at. Homemaking and childcare are two of those things. They come naturally to me. I do not think nor expect that they come naturally to everyone but they are my thing. And while sometimes it feels like it has become almost trendy to admit when you are not cut out to be a full-time caregiver or homemaker, or that even if you are it is the hardest thing you have ever done, somehow saying that you are cut out for it- that you love it and are good at it and would have it no other way- somehow puts people off. But that is just how I am. I am the antithesis of the modern women. I want to be home. I want to cook and clean and raise my children and I have no real need for any sort of career outside of these things.

I am also very good at seizing the day; that comes naturally as well. I am constantly aware of how quickly life is going by. I am aware of how fragile each moment of my boy’s life is; how he is constantly dying and being reborn as this completely new person every single morning and I can never press rewind. He will only be two and a half for a very short time and it will never, ever come back.  I am good at knowing these things and acting on them. I am good at breathing in the toddlerness of my little one…and doing everything I can to remember how he smells because tomorrow he will smell different and look different and BE different.

And sometimes, with so many opinions and information right at my fingertips,  I have to remind myself that this is okay too. My way of being is okay too.

There is nothing like seasonal holiday pictures to show you how much your little boy is growing up…

I am not exactly shy at expressing my love/hate relationship with my dog. She drives me absolutely crazy.  I am always threatening to get rid of her. I am pretty much all bark and no bite (ha! a pun!) but… don’t tell Kolby that.

I do basically believe we owe it to put up with dogs, once we invite them into our lives… even if they smell and shed and drool and bark in the middle of the night at absolutely nothing and never listen to a word you say and chew up your son’s really cute pig spoon when you aren’t looking and shed and eat food off the kitchen table and ruin your cute silver ballet flats and shed and jump up on you annoyingly and shed… and did I mention SHEDDING?! Agh. I digress.

Lee began to exhibit signs of a deep-rooted dog obsession about a year ago and I honestly could not blame him since I am pretty certain it came directly from me. And if you have met my kid, or any kid with dimples and deep blue eyes who’s laughter lights up a room, you know that making them happy is basically your life’s purpose…. so… we started talking about getting him a dog.  And then we met Kolby (previously knows as Grins, which by the way is a terrible name). And then Liam fell in love. And then she came home with us.

Seriously. This is what happened.

Liam started calling her his dog from the minute he met her. When a volunteer brought out another dog for him to meet, he turned his back, said, “No! My doggy!” and wrapped his arms around Kolby’s neck. This was strange to me since until that point he had shown pretty nondiscriminatory affection for all things canine.  Their love for each other has only grown since then.

Listen.. this dog is annoying. She has no manners. She does not listen. She is afraid of everything. She jumps on everyone. She is white and she sheds and it shows up EVERYWHERE and I have more than on one occasion came ridiculously close to posting her on craigslist after spending a half hour sweeping up massive piles of white fur only to hear the dreaded sound of her tags clinking together as she shakes or scratches, knowing full-well that when I turn around it will be like I never swept at all.

BUT… my kid loves her. And she loves my kid. So, I try to take a deep breath, remind myself that she is just a dog and let it be.

These days, Liam is so fond of his canine companion that he wants to be like her in every way imaginable. This means I find him face first in her dog food about… 20 times a day. It really grosses me out.

This afternoon, I was struck with genius! Except it can’t be totally genius because I definitely should have thought of it sooner.

World, meet our new puppy:

One left over sock monkey Halloween costume, a set of bunny ears and a few strokes of an eyeliner pencil later and I had, not one, but two mischievous pups on my hands! (I am not ashamed to admit I am much fonder of our newest addition. He is cuter and his breath doesn’t smell as bad.)

I used to love dressing up as a puppy as a kid (as I am sure Nana remembers) and Liam was absolutely thrilled to be “just like Kolby!”   He was even more excited to receive his very own puppy chow (cheerios), fresh water and free reign to plant his face in the bowl to his little heart’s content.

And, of course, he shared with his best friend!

The truth is…. I think they are good for each other. I really do.

Well…

….most of the time….

Officially, Liam has Sensory Processing Disorder, or rather, he has a “definite difference” in 4 out of 5 sensory processing systems. This means he deals with sensory input in a very different way than most kids his age but at two and a half it is just not fair to slap a label on a kid quite yet, which is pretty decent of them if you ask me.

Liam’s evaluations are always surprising to everyone. A comment is inevitably made about how smart he is or how normal he seems or how unecessary intervention probably is if I explain that he is considered delayed in several areas. His various labels don’t bother me a bit but they seem to be off-putting to others. I don’t really understand what the big deal is. I mean… exactly how realistic is it to expect a 29 week old fetus that is kept alive on artificial nutrition and manufactured air forced into its shriveled little lungs, while its brain and nervous system and digestive processes and eyelashes limp along, doing their best to continue forming under very unnatural circumstances, to come out of that situation completely in line with its natural-born counterparts who had 11 more very necessary weeks in utero? Seriously.

Liam’s nerves need some re-wiring to deal with sensory input more normally. He needs help to build up his muscles that are lagging behind. He needs ways to get in touch with a world that he was thrust into too early and has built up natural defenses against. There is nothing wrong with that. Well, there is something “wrong”…but there is nothing wrong with admitting something is wrong and there is nothing wrong with needing help. I am just so grateful to God- to science- to technology that I even have this kid at all; that I am even on this planet anymore, because I shouldn’t be. So what does it matter if my kid is in therapy? So what if he doesn’t like to chew or is kind of awkward or has the motor skills of a 16 month old? It sure as heck beats the alternative, thank you very much.

ANYWAY…all that to say, Liam and I are always looking for sensory-rich experiences and art is one of the absolute best ways to include sensory work into our day. Obviously, as human beings, we use our senses..um.. like… always; but it is important for a kid with sensory processing issues to be introduced to new sensory stimulation in a fun and safe way on a regular basis to give them the tools they need to handle new experiences later. Since Liam and I are doing these sorts of things all the time, I have decided to start documenting them more regularly.

One sensation I have noticed a lot of kids have trouble with- and especially kids with SPD- is sticky. I personally cannot stand to feel sticky. This has made my life interesting considering I haved worked with the stickiest little creatures on the face of the planet my entire life: toddlers.  Liam has the opposite problem: he is not even aware of sticky. He does not seem to notice when he is covered head to toe in something sticky, or wet, or gritty or anything really. Liam has a low awareness of tactile input- he does not feel things he should. There is a theory that this is caused in preemies by getting man-handled so much as young infants. However, being senstative to touch is important for learning things… like when something is too hot to put in your mouth or when something could cut you or how not to poop your pants anymore. Feeling uncomfortable is actually pretty necessary to survival.

So, anyway… here is a fun and rather sticky sensory art project we did today:

I once read somewhere that toddler art should always be about the experience and not about the project.  I have tried to live by that rule ever since and as a result, we do not always have a lot to show for our hard work, but we generally have a big, happy mess in one way or another.

Our corn syrup paintings are still sitting out on the back porch. I am not entirely sure they will dry. However, even if they don’t, they were a lot of fun to make and gave us the opportunity to feel and taste and talk about sticky today and so they have served their purpose well.

Just adding the word “sticky” to Liam’s vocabulary makes this project a definite success. The more adjectives Lee has in his word bank, the easier it is for him to communicate what he is experiencing in the world. But also, I loved the vibrant colors and glossy finish of these quick and easy paints.

All I did was pour some corn syrup in the bowls, add some food coloring, cut up a cereal box in the recycling bin for a canvas and traded the boys’ shirts for a few paint brushes. Voila!

As usual, Liam quickly turned painting with brushes into finger-painting and face-painting. He also had a lot of fun drizzling the corn syrup all over the table but I was pleasently surprised to find that it cleaned up very easily: a little water on a sponge and it came right off.

It was so simple, we had everything we needed on hand and it was a fun project that lasted a whole 15 minutes (which is like totally forever in toddler time)! Corn syrup paiting is definitely on my go-to list from now on.

On Friday and Saturday, the Haddock family spent a lot of time outdoors, ate a lot of yummy food and wore a lot of green.

On Friday afternoon, Lee and I spent the morning decorating our front porch with window markers and sidewalk chalk.

This was apparently very serious business as I could not manage to get one picture of The Kid smiling. 

I find the comparison between what our front porch usually looks like verses what pretty much every single one of our neighbor’s looks like endlessly amusing.
On any given day we have chalk, balloons, a grill, a half painted bookcase, bubbles, balls, bicycles and any other countless number of outdoor amusements strewn about. Not to mention, our (way totally awesome) lime green bench and huge metal trash can. Our neighbors, on the other hand… have nothing- or maybe a chair… and a bucket to put cigarettes in.

On Saturday, we really made a day of it. It was an unexpected surprise because Papa had been under the weather and we did not expect him to feel better but he did so we took full advantage of the gorgeous weather and enjoyed a lovely day together.

Well, for the sake of honesty, it did not start out entirely lovely.

This is what I got when I tried to get a picture of my boys together.

It was alright though. Lee just hadn’t had his morning coffee. A quick cup of joe and he was right as rain.

After a delicious breakfast, we spent the rest of the morning at the aquarium and were finally able to introduce Papa to the saltwater side. Stingrays and butterflies and penguins! Oh, my!

We then walked up to the Bluff View and had some lunch. Liam had a proper Irish lunch of potato stew and followed it with a shamrock cookie.

Oh, yes. It was a beautiful day.

St. Patrick’s Day is sort of a non-event in our lives most of the time. We wear green.. maybe on purpose but more likely by accident (“look.. the leaves on this flower on my sock are  totally green! Back off.”) or we don’t and someone makes some vague reference to it and/or pinches us or threatens to pinch us or whatever and then we move on. 

But this year was a little different. It definitely feels like spring has arrived and that is plenty a reason to celebrate. So we did!  In fact, we celebrated for three whole days. That is  a record around these here parts for this particular holiday.

On Thursday, I did a couple of cute rainbow projects with the boys. First, we made rainbow water, which was ridiculously simple but fascinating to the kidlets.

We started out with 6 glasses full of water tinted in each primary color (two of each) and a few measuring cups (with spouts) full of the same. You will notice there are no pictures of the boys actually pouring and this is because I am not an idiot and put the camera down in order to assist before we found ourselves drowning in the Red/Blue/Yellow Sea.  However, I did let them mix up the leftover water in the larger measuring cups which they found very cool indeed.

Watching the water change color as we mixed was pretty freaking spectacular to the boys. Seriously. It was magic. And stirring the water afterwards (and maybe taking a tiny taste or two) was the very best part, albeit unnecessary perhaps.

[Color Mixing Chart]
red+yellow=orange
blue+yellow=green
red+blue=purple

The colored water looked very pretty sitting on the window sill for the rest of the afternoon and we talked about colors pretty much all day. So, I call this project a fun and educational success.

I have learned that the key to transitioning kids out of a really fun project is to introduce a slightly less fun project that is pretty cool but generally holds less pull than the aforementioned “really fun” project and is more easily given up (or abandoned after 2 minutes to chase a fly around the kitchen as Liam did in this instance).

Rainbow paper chains fit the bill, look really cute when they are hung up… and also help develop fine motor skills! Woo!

So, that was the start of our St. Patrick’s Day extravaganza, which Liam and I continued the next day together and the day after with Papa…

(to be continued)

As is usually the case when we have a lot going on in our lives, blogging has taken a back seat. I wish I could manage to carve out the time to blog every day- rain or shine- because I treasure the entries I do make in this digital baby book of mine. But, alas, I simple cannot- or, rather, I choose not… because, the truth is, making time for something is generally always a choice and I guess I tend to choose other things.

I really do have a lot I want to document. We are (once again and involuntarily this time) finding ourselves in a time of transition. Liam has been experiencing some new and interesting twists in his own life path as well. And he is growing and changing and amazing us every day as usual. All of those things deserve a bit of reflection. However, in the meantime I thought I would share with you one of Liam Eliot’s most recent fashion statement.

Pretty much, my kid always looks cooler than me. He can pull off graphic tees and skinny jeans in a way my inner 16 year old can only dream of. Since he has the waist of a 12 month old and the legs of a spider monkey.. we have found that these awesome Old Navy skinny jeans (for girls, no less) are pretty much our only option aside from yelling at Liam to pull his britches up 43 times an hour or triple-padding his diapers.

But whatever. He totally rocks them.

There is a lot of heavy stuff going on in our lives right now. Big decisions we are being forced to make; changes we do not want to face. I wish I could say we are handling it all with grace and certainty…but… well, sometimes, being a grown-up just really sucks.

In the 2+ years I have had the privilege of knowing Liam Eliot, I have learned that one of the best ways of dealing with the hard things going on in my world is to leave it all behind for a little while and enter into his.

Things are really quite simple over there.

So, today, after we got dressed and finished the chores and took the dog for a walk and watched a show and played with trucks and did some counting and had a snack and took our vitamins and looked at the clock to see it read 10:42 a.m., we decided to finally get around to opening up the play dough we splurged on for Liam’s 2nd birthday (yes- the one in October…sigh).

I am more of a “make your own play dough” sort (bet you never would have guessed that one!) and have whipped up more than a few batches of salt dough in my time, but when faced with a lot of ToysRUs money right after Liam’s birthday and not a lot of things I actually wanted to get my kid from ToysRUs, I finally settled on a genuine play dough set out of nostalgia… then promptly forgot about it.

So, I pulled the tub out of the closet, dumped the toys on the table and told Liam we were going to play with play dough.  “Yay! TATO!” he replied.  Kids love play dough; they are born creators.

Have you ever noticed how it is generally only the adults who have any anxiety about mixing the colors together?  I distinctly remember having to choose one color of dough as the teacher reminded us for the 235th time, “We are only going to take out one color at a time so they do not get mixed up…” and wondering why. What was so bad about mixing the colors up? If anything it made the play-dough more interesting; swirling colors added pizazz. Didn’t grown-ups know anything?

Still.. I found myself fighting the urge to pull the purple dough out of Liam’s hand as he went for the blue. DON’T MIX THE COLORS! my adult mind screamed! But I told it to hush and let my kid squish his blue gator and his purple gator together for kisses. And the world didn’t end.

Go figure.

My favorite thing about doing anything with Lee is that he generally talks the whole time. When he is playing by himself he is very, very quiet but the minute you sit down to get in on the action he starts a running commentary about everything he is doing, everything you are doing, and throws in pretty much every random thought that floats into his brain for good measure.

(He told me he was making a bird…then had to do the sign for bird…then had to do the sign for cat…then had to do the sign for more…)

Yes. I believe my best advice for anyone who is feeling just a bit stressed out or overwhelmed with their life is to sit down and find a toddler to share some play-dough with. It is relaxing, and fun, and costs a lot less than therapy.

Plus, you will probably hear a lot of really funny stories. And get a good dose of cute to boot.