Where thou art – that – is Home.
Emily Dickinson
So, my husband and I are just a little bit crazy. And we do things slightly backward from time to time. For instance, we downsized after having a baby.
Or rather, we downsized after upsizing after having a baby. It’s true.
When Ryan and I found out we were going to be parents, we definitely panicked. It was actually fairly ugly. I am not sure when we are going to break that to Liam. “Yes, son… we were very emotional when we found out we were going to have you. There were tears. Lots and lots and lots of tears.” That sounds vaguely positive, right?
It was not a proud moment for us.
We were living in a loft apartment at the time and one of the first things that came to mind was that our living arrangements were not ideal for raising a child. If I am perfectly honest, our train of thought went a little bit something like this:
ohmygodhowthehelldidthishappen
werewejusttotallymentallyabsentduringsexed
seriouslywhatarewegoingtodowecan’thaveakid
wedon’tevenhavewalls
weneedwalls
youcan’thaveababywithoutwalls
wallswallswallswallswalls
FIND WALLS GO!
And so… we began looking for a new place.
It is strange because it is all sort of a blur now, but we ended up buying a little two bedroom house. I don’t think we set out to buy; it all just sort of happened. We needed an extra bedroom but we found a house instead.
It was a cute house; it needed some work but it could have been a great house. It was near a part of town we loved. It had a fenced in yard and a great front porch. It had that extra bedroom we needed. Not to mention, the mortgage was less than our current rent. And it had plenty of walls.
Unfortunately, we overlooked one teeny, tiny problem: neither Ryan nor I actually wanted to buy a house. We are not house people. At least not yet. Some people are house people from the day they are born; others grow into it. We are the latter sort and we aren’t done growing quite yet.
Ryan hates yard work. I don’t like having to fix things when they are broken. Neither of us liked feeling so very settled; knowing we could not leave easily if life called us elsewhere. It felt like a dead end and not the new beginning that so many others find in the purchasing of their first home. It appeared we had jumped the gun on the whole house-buying thing.
A little over a year later, Ryan and I sat looking at each other on the couch. And we finally admitted that our house was a mistake.
That was a hard moment. But it was also great. You should have been there. Or maybe not because it probably would have been pretty awkward for you.
So, we sold it. Eventually, we found a cute apartment in a great neighborhood and snagged it.
It only has one bedroom.
Living in a one-bedroom apartment with a small child has its disadvantages. For one, there is no yard to throw my kid into. I am pretty sure backyards have saved more than a couple of kid’s lives, mine included, and certainly more than a few parents’ sanity. I am pretty much stuck with Liam during the day no matter how either of us are feeling because it does not matter where I go in the house, I am basically within arm’s distance (this can be an advantage though… like that time Liam ate a dime, or started peeing on the floor, or climbed on top of the kitchen table or fell down, or fell down, or fell down…)
Also, Liam does not have the room other children have to accumulate a ridiculous number of toys and we have to be very selective about what comes into the house. Again, this can be an advantage, but every once in awhile.. I find an awesome train table on Craigslist for $45 and want nothing more than to get it but know I have no place to put it… and then it sucks.
Housework is also somewhat concentrated in a small space. You would think that less room would equal less housework, but that is far too logical. Actually, having less space means that three blocks, a plastic truck and a stuffed rabbit left on the floor essentially amounts to a “huge mess” and inevitably leads to someone tripping over something or worse. Therefore, you have to be picking up constantly just to survive…
… and do not even get me started about the dog hair.
I think the time Ryan and I miss having a bigger place the most is when one of us needs more sleep or is sick and we really have no quiet place we can rest since our bedroom is also the living room. So then you generally have a 2 year old sitting on your head at some point while the other parent is apologizing and throwing on their jacket to take Liam to the mall or whatever so you can just get a couple of hours of sleep.
Yep. Sometimes, you need walls.
However, all of the amazing things we gain from raising our son here far outnumber anything negative. Living in a tiny space with a rambunctious toddler generally means one thing: on any given day, you are not going to be in that space for very long. We will soon find ourselves propelled out into the world. We will have wild adventures.
Our kid might not have a swing in his backyard…or even an actual backyard (in the literal sense), but he has his pick of any number of parks and playgrounds.
There is a children’s museum and an art museum and an aquarium for rainy days. The library. The river. The carousel. The zoo. Fountains. Outdoor concerts. Ice cream shops. Coffee shops. Bakeries. Dog parks. Organic grocery stores. Boutiques.
We ride the bus to get around and it is the very best part of any trip we take. Liam would ride the bus all day if we let him; waving hello to everyone who gets on, sitting in all the seats, hanging onto the poles, repeating the name of each stop, talking to the bus driver and sticking his head out the window. Public transportation rocks.
We enjoy free music in the summer, free movies in the park. There are bridges to cross and steps to climb and sculptures to talk about wherever we turn. We walk to get sushi or pizza or fried chicken or hamburgers when we are hungry and don’t want to cook. We meet new people every day. There is always somewhere to go and something to see. We are never, ever bored.
And the very best part of all? Our family lives our life together. Our small quarters mean we spend our time at home together and when we venture out into the world, we usually do it together. We experience everything as a family and while there are definitely days when the lack of personal space can make you feel a little crazy…mostly, it is the best thing that has ever happened to us.
Our house may be tiny, but our backyard is HUGE. And we are ridiculously happy.
I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Have you ever noticed how it is generally only the adults who have any anxiety about mixing the colors together? I distinctly remember having to choose one color of dough as the teacher reminded us for the 235th time, “We are only going to take out one color at a time so they do not get mixed up…” and wondering why. What was so bad about mixing the colors up? If anything it made the play-dough more interesting; swirling colors added pizazz. Didn’t grown-ups know anything?
